DECISIONS

Today I got the courage to watch the first half of mums’ funeral. Touching, really touching. I haven’t finished it, but through what I saw, I wanted to also share something with you. In my last post, I mentioned letting the hate and bitterness in me go. It surely did go, and today, I saw people on the video (mums children, sisters, friends etc.) and the emotions they carried with them. This even gave me more strength to FORGIVE.

We all took great care of mummy during the last few years, I wasn’t around much and so were some other children. The ones back home visited or called when they could. We were there for her and I am so very THANKFUL for every soul that impacted mum in a positive way.

They did surely love mum, which is no doubt. They cared for her and they wanted the best for her too. The DECISIONS that were made, however wrong it may seem to me, my brother, relatives, friends and everyone who was against this, for them it was the right thing. This seemed perfect in their eyes, which is ok…for them at least. It was WRONG in mine, so very wrong, and is still wrong but we let go...at that time. You can't fight a battle you know you can't win ...not yet.
Nonetheless, it made them feel better and pleased afterwards having made the right DECISION.

The DECISIONS that we make in life, always in one way or the other impact our present and the future. Either wrong or right, we have to live with them because we can’t turn back time.

The last few days at the hospital I met quite a number of people whom I didn’t even know, that daily came to visit mum. I was awed at their generosity, securing time every day to come there. I am sure they were busy people, who had their own lives, but on the side DECIDED to have a heart of sharing their time with mum.

Someone once wrote……But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.

I will finish watching tomorrow and continue. Thank you for reading